Okay

Days have passed that feels like weeks.

I feel okay.

It doesn’t hurt as much as it did before, when it felt gut-wrenching, as though my heart was breaking into a billion pieces.

Then again, I don’t really feel anything right now.

Okay as in, numb.

As in, I don’t know where all those feelings have gone. 

Songs, pictures, places, everything that reminds me of you…I no longer feel anything for-maybe I’m choosing not to.

It’s been 6 days since I’ve cried tears for you.

Ever since that Monday in January, when you decided to end things, there was not a day that went by, that I didn’t shed tears. 

And now, it’s been 6 days.

There are stages I read. 

I may be in the beginning of the acceptance stage.

I have put myself through the ringer ever since that wretched day, I allowed you to play with my head.

And maybe, just maybe, I’m starting to finally see…what was, what I thought would be, at this point in time can’t. 

And I am doing my best to be okay with it.

You were my best friend.

My partner in everything.

In the little time we had together, I experienced more than I have in a long time.

But, you chose, not I, but YOU chose, to walk away, to give up. 

And I have to be okay with that.

Whatever that means.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s