We walked into the little plaza.
Music was playing.
It was a beautiful night.
Strings of lights were above us.
In the middle of the square.
Right by the fountain.
Dance with me.
He held out his hand.
I just looked at him.
My nerves got the best of me.
I was shy or worried or whatever else came to mind.
Instead, we sat there holding hands, watching other couples dance.
I sat as I let that moment pass me by.
I have always thought back to that night.
He was the bold, lively, carefree guy.
And I was the shy, nervous girl who hadn’t lived much.
How much has changed.
How much life he’s shown me.
And still, I wish I would’ve just danced.
Live by the seat of your pants.
Carpe diem type guy.
That’s what drew me to him.
That smile. Oh, that smile.
He had that look that made me weak in the knees.
His words, his words made me as giddy as a school girl falling for her dream guy.
Head over heels.
Swept me off my feet.
He was the type to not give a f*ck.
I was the type who was exhausted from giving too many.
It was exhilarating.
Freeing to be with him.
He taught me how live.
The memories we made.
And now, that’s all we have.
A fair weather romance.
I gave him all I had.
Without any hesitation.
Like a little child excited to share her most prized possession.
Here, take it. I want you to have it.
I handed him all I had, broken pieces and all.
Be careful, it’s fragile. It’s been broken one too many times, but there’s still life left in it.
He tried to be gentle.
Tried to handle it with care.
But it wasn’t in his nature.
He just didn’t know what to do with it.
With frustration he gave up.
Here, I don’t want it anymore. It’s not for me.
She holds in her hand, what pieces were left, with tears and sadness in her eyes.
A simple yet strong and powerful word that evokes so many emotions.
And it’s captured me, locked and caged in your heart.
I let you take me.
I feel like I am going insane.
I can’t let go.
I can’t escape.
The cage door is open but here I sit trapped.
I saw him standing there.
It’s only been a few days, but I had trouble recognizing him.
Empty, numb, detached. Where did all those feelings go?
I look at him through different eyes now.
Was any of it real?
And there he stood, as a stranger across the room.
Hearing those words made it real.
He hadn’t referred to me as his “ex” until that moment.
It was then it became real.
What was, no longer is.
God, that night.
I never felt so much love and sadness.
Laying there on top of you, you holding me as I cried into your arms, you kissing my forehead and holding me, telling me it will be ok.
I felt safe, I felt comfort and I didn’t want to leave that.
I broke down, so much pain, so much sadness.
I love you, you said as you kissed my forehead.
I’m sorries were exchanged.
You hold the power.
Don’t give it to anyone that doesn’t deserve it.
Be happy with yourself.